Ok...so I need some help! My bike and I have had a blissful relationship. Granted, it's only been going on 10 months...almost 11, so maybe we haven't had time to hit all the rough spots yet. We've been through so many firsts together, beautiful challenging rides, centuries, a week of camp, my first and only win, good finishes, bad finishes, but I always end the days looking forward to the next ride. The bike is my escape from the woes of the regular world, the things in life I can't control so much. It gives me great joy to fly down those descents, to give all I have to gain a new PR, to win a sprint, or even to lose if I'm giving it everything I've got! I give it TLC, and it rewards me many times over. Even the new TT bike has given me some fun as of late. I had a great time riding it to a win in our club TT (ok...so I got 25th overall...but still managed to win the women's division, and finish mid-pack in the men), and it made me feel fast at Kern.
So why, then, am I sitting here dreading getting on the bike tomorrow? I strongly dislike TTT practice. It gets me stressed out just thinking about it, and after about an hour of practice, this muscle in my back/hip starts to scream loudly as well. I think its because the TTT brings out the weaknesses in my riding, and I hate feeling vulnerable and bad at things. It's one thing to not stick on a wheel in a race...but in a TTT, well, its kind of essential. And turning tight turns on the TT bike at speed..hmmm (thinking about dropping my chain in that TT last week). And descents when you have to follow someone's wheel AND stay aero AND not brake (normally descending is my flat out favorite thing on the bike, and people seem to think I'm pretty talented in that department). All of these things that I didn't have to think about before on the TT bike, because I wasn't riding around anyone else! The TTT just accentuates all weaknesses, and I don't like it one bit! I need to find something positive about the TTT and try to do a complete attitude adjustment this week....as this week is all about the TTT. Next week I can get back to the riding I love, and me and my bike can re-aquaint (for a couple days, then I leave it again to go to Paris).
In my desire to become a better (and faster) cyclist, I'm leaving the ego out to dry, and trying as hard as I can to look for something beneficial in the TTT....
but right now, climbing a mountain just seems so much easier.