It's been a long time, dear Blog. Thought I would update, because it is a new year, and because I am frustrated.
I am a busy person. I balance a busy life: Professorship, (department chair currently), dogs, show dogs, an active lifestyle (cycling, running, pilates), a messy case of hypothyroidism, and usually do ok at it. I am actually happier than I have been in quite some time. However, every time I log into facebook and see another post about someone going to the gym at 5am, or training 25 hours a week, or climbing 30K feet, or a team email berating the folks who are not goign on 120 mile training rides with 10K climbing, it gnaws at my self esteem. Should I be riding more? Training more? Do I really have to do this to feel good about myself?
I haven't been going on group rides lately. I decided to try and climb more, and drive my car less, which means less car trips to ride my bike. It seemed possible, since I live right in the midst of wonderful riding. It is mostly working for me. I still have great riding buddies, I am still getting out, and I'm having more time to get my work done, as I am avoiding the extra 45 minutes in the car, or the extra 20 miles to ride to/from the group rides. I still will do some of them now and then, but for the most part I'm pretty happy with this plan.
And racing? Well, right now, I can take it or leave it. One of my teammates crashed really badly last year, and although I didn't know it at the time, it did affect me pretty substantially. I went on to race (and win) after that, but I really don't want to ever crash like that. There is a pretty huge luck element in racing, and although I love the adrenaline rush, I also love my life, and want to keep it going for some time! I am having a lot of fun riding, but as I will never be a mountain goat, the safer road races are probably not in my future. I am a sprinter.
Do I seem weak to the folks who train 20 hours a week, and don't see me on group rides anymore? Do I seem like a pansy because I am opting for runs or walks on the beach with my dogs and a 3 hour ride, instead of a 5 hour, 120 mile 'team' event? I think I am battling my own mind on this one...and as usual, I am my worst critic. I keep telling myself that I am enjoying life, and I have the power to choose to enjoy it, and it doesn't just mean always doing the hardest thing.
Happy 2010 everyone!!